Asked by Anonymous Anonymous

I recently came out as asexual and well... I don't get all these cake jokes... Could you explain them to me?? So cake is sex but asexuals don't want... I am truly confused XD please help me make jokes to express to my friends :3

Once upon a time, someone made a joke about how if given the choice between sex or cake, ace people would go for the cake. Luls ensued and cake jokes were born. It’s a way of joking about how without sexual attraction, something like eating cake is a lot more appealing.

Cake jokes are another way of showing other people who don’t understand asexuality where we’re coming from. It’s a way of framing reality in a way that others relate to (most people relate to food in some way). I find cake jokes to be a bit restricting though, and they are sort of an in-joke rather than an effective outreach thing to me. 


"asexuals don’t actually exist outside of tumblr!"

i look down at myself. startled, i see nothing. i do not, in fact, exist! my entire life, every social interaction, is a lie. all i am is in cyberspace. i am part of the void. only now, with the truth at last, i have become sentient.
i am aware.
and i am watching.

(Source: haytharnkenway, via parles)


Submitted by deadly-daffodil.
[#294. Drawing a triangle on the floor will summon an Asexual.]


Submitted by deadly-daffodil.

[#294. Drawing a triangle on the floor will summon an Asexual.]

(via lgbtlaughs)


realizing you’re asexual


having to explain that you’re asexual to others


(Source: got-a-gun, via southpawscopic)


Asexuals VS the world

100% Based on real and useless conversations with our friends, relatives, and random people.

that’s our story: too many people assume asexuality doesn’t exist…  we are just OR liars OR confused OR childish OR traumatized by particular events OR the worst pervs (WTF??)
the real asexuality is NEVER a considerable option..(my friend is always called gay because os his hair LOL)

this pisses me off..really! I don’t understand what the problem is! misinformation? rejection? WELL…

Answer: basically is the lack of sexual attraction to anyone or low or absent interest in sexual activity. It may be considered the lack of a sexual orientation, or one of the four types thereof, alongside heterosexuality, homosexuality, and bisexuality. A study in 2004 placed the prevalence of asexuality at 1%.

BUT! this is a complicated topic. we are all different and there are various sub-categories blah blah blah.. read here for more informations. »

BTW we exist! we are not fucking legendary creatures JEEZ! now we understand how Santa Claus feels!
exactly as heterosexuality, homosexuality, and bisexuality is NOT a choice.
we can appreciate a nice pair of boobs, a bootie or some cool abs ~
we can be romantic, we can love and want to marry someone ~
the only relevant difference is “we don’t care about your…your… 

(ノ⊙ヮ⊙)ノ~『✧~*YOU KNOW WHAT*~✧』”

(via southpawscopic)

Asexy Pontification #9000


Sex to me isn’t something bad, it’s just something rather strange and irrelevant. Imagine something bizarre but totally harmless, like being dipped into a giant vat of warm garlic flavored mashed potatoes. Messy? Oh yeah. Yummy? Sure. Nutritious? Hells yeah (potatoes are pretty great). Would I try it at least once? For the luls, sure. However, it’s not something I would want to pattern my life around. Without the vat of potatoes, I would continue to be a complete person who leads a good life. 

Just cause I’m not into it doesn’t mean I hate it or look down on others. I just have better things to do. 

Reblogged from my personal tumblr. Because of reasons. 



I made a thing



(Source: autotomouscacti)




“youre not asexual, you just need a good lay”



… nope. Still asexual.


yeah, no, that didn’t work either. Still ace.

(via southpawscopic)

It’s just a phase.


For Rynn

WOOOOH! :D Yay, this is awesome.


For Rynn

WOOOOH! :D Yay, this is awesome.

(via southpawscopic)

Asexuals Exist or Something, Says Book, But They Are Probably Sad Like This Cookie



PUBLISHED: 17:43 EST, 8 September 2012

Caption: Asexuals enjoy baking, but they don’t believe in heart-shaped cookies, and thus smash them in hate-filled rage.

Roughly 1% of the world’s population is ‘asexual,’ according to experts.  This means that 70 million people feel no sexual attraction to other human beings, which basically means they hate everybody.

“I don’t hate everybody,” says some asexual somewhere (age 23).  ”I actually like a lot of people.  I’m just not sexually attracted to them.”  

As the above quote demonstrates, asexuals suffer from a dearth of human emotions.  Asexuals don’t feel the need to form bonds with other people, and enjoy living alone in cardboard boxes in the woods.  A large percentage of them (74.3%, according to a study conducted in the UK) enjoy playing sad songs on slightly out-of-tune ukuleles.

“Asexuality is caused by alien waves from space,” says Anthony Bogaert, who is in Canada and also a professor.  At least, he probably said something like that; the Daily Mail included that quote and we couldn’t be bothered to fact-check.

Experts say that ‘asexuals’ are only now ‘coming out’ so they can recruit young, untainted minds to their cause.  Their ultimate goal is to give everyone diabetes from non-heart-shaped cookies, so that people stop having sex.

“There are a lot of misconceptions about asexuality in the media,” says illegally hot David Jay, the founder of AVEN, who is so attractive it makes us sad that he is asexual.  He said other stuff too, but we were too busy ogling him to pay attention.

(via southpawscopic)

Happy Birthday USA

or as I like to call it FREEDOM DAY. (in america)