Asexy Hipster

  Anonymous asked you:Pretty sure you’ve always wanted to see me naked.. Well.. I’m feeling pretty adventurous today so go to datelink5(dot)com (switch [dot] with .) then sign up and find my profile under the username ‘lolsummer69’. I hid my face in the pictures. but I want you to guess who I am and then hit me up on Facebook lol. Good luck.

I’ve received 4 of these in the last two days. Clearly this whole naked thing has gotten slightly out of hand. I understand the urgency, though; there is not enough asexy hipster to go around and clearly people have resorted to begging // offering their naked bodies as a sacrifice just to hang out with me. 

All I have to say is get in line and prepare for the long haul. These requests are so mainstream and tedious that you’ll be lucky to even see me before I sell off your body organs for more cake money scientific research.

So go on, flop your naked body around like fish in distress trying to win my affections. I’ll be over here smugly blogging about far more interesting things like my asexy porn stash.

:( Bro in hospital with rare brain condition which causes clusters of aneurysms. A few of them burst. Problem is fixed. Recovery is now. Assessing brain damage, teaching him to talk again. I’ve taught him a bit of sign language to help communicate. He told me he wants to kick ass and get through this like a locamotive. My bro is f*cking amazing.

(this post was neither hipster, nore ace; wanted to explain my lack of macro-city [word?] lately. Did I mention my bro is f*cking amazing?)

…don’t judge me. It’s not like this shouldn’t have been fixed ages ago. Seriously, though, here’s a composite template and here are the pieces (some assembly required, so if you don’t know photoshop then just use the dang template). 

Submit: http://asexyhipster.tumblr.com/submit

Basic Template: lolwut?

Template Pieces (zipped file): totallynotavirus

Maybe someday I’ll get off my ass and make a template page for easy access. Until then, though, I’ll focus on pushing this post off the page with moar lolsauce hipster crap. 

cakeyeahasexuals:

and assuming nobody else went ahead and made a blog for this kind of thing yet:

http://cakeyeahasexualmacros.tumblr.com/

I’m still building and taking suggestions if anyone’s got ‘em!

Sorta what I’m already doing, but you can never have too many macros. :) Awww yeah (that other one is mainstream, though, so seriously don’t check it out at all) 

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